who I needed to leave
who left me
is all we want of each other falling out and back into trailing clouds of smoke
a sex through lack of it darling put your back in it if you don’t work
if you don’t even ask
I’ll never say yes
but you asked
and I have not spoken
you told me
and I did nothing
I am afraid
I am alone
I have friends and sometimes lovers pushing them when I’m not pulling
a lack of effort shows I care
there’s no reason anyone could want me and all neglect
but it only makes sense
forced to pick, forced to feel guilty